“When traditional networking came into being back in the late 1960s, it was framed around the sharing or passing of information, ideas and contacts from one individual to another. However, during the decades of the ’80’s and ’90’s, networking’s lofty ideals began to tarnish.
“Networking’s reputation was becoming fundamentally about take, take, take,” she explains. “It’s wasn’t about collaborative connections, instead it became a ‘you do something for me, I want something from you,’ exercise.” As a result networking took on a negative overtone, and became an experience many people wanted to avoid, maintains Hubbel.
The new networking practice, according to Hubbel, “is all about how you leave other people feeling about themselves, how you will leave a legacy of value, how you will leave other people feeling supported.”
She is adamant: “Networking is never about you, never was about you and never will be about you.”
Obviously, one of the main principles of 21st Century networking is to create value for other people. “We listen instead of talk,” Hubbel emphasizes. “And when we speak, it’s not what we say, it’s what we ask; we concentrate on asking really good, deep questions.”
According to Hubbel, “Our ability to ask good questions is the key to creating excellent connections.” Ask people what they think, how they feel about ideas, what interests them, what they are passionate about. “Make them talk about themselves, ask open-ended questions and delve deeper,” is the advice.
“We let other people be the center of the conversation,” she reminds. “We also listen with the intention to learn and be of service. We listen without judgment, and we listen with the intention of making a difference, whether it is paying them a compliment, or making a referral that can assist them in some manner,” she details.
Hubbel calls this “tithing our social capital.” “By that I mean every opportunity we have to give someone something that will help make them successful or help them further their career, do it by giving them an idea, a referral, a lead, and do it without a quid pro quo,” she explains. “When we connect with other people with an attitude of service and are looking for a way to leave them with something of value, like a referral or an idea, it is a powerful way to build a legacy for ourselves,” she maintains.
“When we focus on other people’s success first, it makes other people more dedicated to our success,” Hubbel assures. “We have to earn every relationship that we are in. That’s fundamentally different: instead of being all about ‘take,’ we need to have mindset of being all about ‘give.’”
Networking in the 21st Century also requires that we also “take a risk and share something personal about ourselves that will allow us to get past the business card connection.” The “revelation” she explains, “creates the relationship, and it allows others to see us as human and humane, and creates a conversation about who we are. Often, it’s the very thing that creates the personal connection with someone else.”
“Mentor, give ideas, suggestions, support, recommendations, open doors for people”, Hubbel recommends. Other suggestions for the “new” networking include helping make deals happen, helping associates and contacts find jobs, and helping vendors by coaching and training them. Also, build closer alliances with peers at conferences, seminars, and other outside events.
“The more you do for others, the more you will find they will do for you,” she explains. “This builds loyalty and friendship, and you’ll be on the receiving end of much more information, tips, referrals, and ‘inside’ scuttlebutt.” When you have created your network of connections, make sure to stay in touch, through personal, hand-written notes and by the less personal e-mail. “Do what most people won’t do: follow-up,” she advises.
“Everyone you meet, make sure to leave them ‘larger’ as a result of speaking with you,” Hubbel emphasizes. “The truth is that you never know whom you’re going to meet, and the influence they, or someone in their network, may have in your life. So, it pays to treat everyone with courtesy, care and respect.” Julia Hubbel
